Irony
by Kitt Chaos
Summary: A look at friendship from Seto Kaiba's point of view. Rated up slightly for language.


Yu-Gi-Oh! and all its characters, are the legal and intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and any entities he has granted legal rights to. I claim no rights at all with my story. I greatly admire Mr. Takahashi for the amazing story and characters of Yu-Gi-Oh!

This story is based mostly on the anime, though it bears a touch of the manga canon.

**Irony**

It is an irony, you know. For all their constant empty noise about friendship, how is it the quiet one is the only one who sees? He knows. _He knows_.

The signs are all there. I hate children, yet my dream is to fill the Earth with theme parks for the amusement of... Take a guess? Children. Yeah. Because I 'hate' children so much.

My brother, Mokuba. If I 'hated' children, why would I insist he remain with me? I'm rich enough now I could send him off to an exclusive boarding school where he'd receive the best education, he'd be safe and protected -- probably better than even _I_ can manage, since people keep trying to use him against me. But, he's my brother. I don't want to send him away, even if he would be safer, even if it might be 'better' for him if I did.

Have I crushed his spirit, since he's one of these children I 'hate' so much? Have I yelled at him for making an uproar in the house, as I assure you he does, on occasion? No, of course not. I grouse at him, but he knows it's just an act. So much for 'hating' kids. And I'm sure my rival knows that about me, too. If I let myself think about it, I suspect I'd be rather dismayed at how well he does know me. In that observant, quiet way of his, he's far more dangerous to my equilibrium than that wretched spirit -- the pharaoh -- who came from that ridiculous Puzzle of Yugi's to make my life miserable.

They think I'm 'all-business' and 'grown-up' before my time. It's true I do run Kaiba Corporation, hell, it's doing better under my control than it ever did under Gozaburo's, but, has it truly escaped their notice that I play games? Duel Monsters -- it's a game. Sure, my company manufactures the imaging technology to make Pegasus' card game literally 'come alive' but, that's all programming and innovative hardware design. Under it all, it's still a game. And, I play it. I don't _have_ to play Duel Monsters to design Kaiba Corporation's products to support it. I certainly don't have to play it well enough to have been ranked as the world's champion. Why don't they understand that? One does. He knows.

I think, of all of them, he's the only one who truly knows what friendship is. It's not all fluffy feelings and smiling faces drawn in ink across the backs of people's hands. It's not all speeches and pretty words. Friendship is hard. Friendship is tough. Friendship is yelling at your friend to do better. Friendship is pushing him to excellence. Friendship is gritty, dirty, hard work. Friendship is staying strong, and focused, when everyone else around you wants to give in and be weak. Friendship is accepting the hard things about others. Friendship is facing those hard things and fighting through them. Friendship is looking at the asshole who makes you want to smack him -- and accepting him anyway. No, accepting him _that_ way -- the way he is. Friendship is brutally honest -- and in this little group of annoying brats, there is only one worthy of the term 'friend'.

I say I don't want friends. The fact is, I do. Those who want to force me to be like them will never understand. Those who think they have to change me so that I will 'understand' the need for friends will never do. But this quiet one, he knows. The irony is in him I have found that friend I won't admit I want. And he knows it, too.

His simple friends don't understand it. Maybe years from now they will, but now? No. They are too arrogantly locked in their own perceptions to understand the true meaning of the very thing they harp about so endlessly.

Friends don't try to change others. Friends just accept others for who they are -- flaws and all. Hey, I'm not stupid. Nor am I blind. I'm certainly not self-delusional, not matter what those friend-obsessed idiots think. I'm a prick, a jerk, an asshole. I'm arrogant, snobby, ruthless and mean. Of all of these losers who say they want to be my friend, only one is worthy.

Am _I_ to change, just so I can have 'friends'? If I did, that would hardly make me someone you'd want to have as a friend. Could you ever see me spouting off some of the ridiculous tripe those losers always do about the power of friendship? Even that has-been pharaoh doesn't understand it. Perhaps my heart _was_ too hard. Perhaps my mind _was_ locked in a destructive pattern. Perhaps I deserved to be smashed, crushed, so I could rebuild again. Perhaps he truly meant to help me.

But, did he honestly think I'd rebuild my heart and mind to make them acceptable to _him_? That is arrogance the likes of which makes _me_ look like the soul of accommodation!

The truth is, friendship makes you weak. It makes you vulnerable. It's being honest, with yourself, with others, and stripping away all the defenses that make it so you can cope on your own.

The true value of friendship is finding that person who can counteract your weaknesses with his strengths. The one who has your back, no matter what, so your vulnerability becomes an asset. There's only one who's willing to look at me with clear eyes, take the measure of who I am, and accept it all.

And that's Yugi.

I was there, remember? At the beginning, in that very first duel where the pharaoh showed up. But, I dueled Yugi. The pharaoh's power might have been what crushed my mind and shattered my heart, but it was Yugi who defeated me in that duel. He calls it 'the heart of the cards'. That's rubbish. It's _his_ heart, the self-effacing idiot. And even I have responded to it.

I used that heart against him in that duel at Pegasus' castle in Duelist Kingdom. I knew he wouldn't permit me to throw myself from that tower. Friends don't let friends die, right? I knew he'd behave as he did. I even showed him something important about himself and that 'pharaoh' of his. Yugi thought the pharaoh was only a strength to him. He was wrong. He thought the pharaoh was part of him. He was wrong in that, too. But, I also showed him that it was he, not this pharaoh, who held the true strength. He had to master the pharaoh within to save me. And he did. I knew he would. Even then, he was a friend.

No one else realizes it, but I know he does. He knows how hard it was for me to destroy a Blue-Eyes White Dragon to help him win that duel against my 'evil' doppelganger. Yes, part of it was because I was furious someone else dueled with _my_ deck, claiming to be me. I'll admit it probably was the 'evil' side I was forced to exorcise from myself, given form and a sort of will under some trick of Pegasus'. And, I'll even admit that if I had been the one dueling against that evil twin directly, I might not have won. Yugi was being my friend in that duel, and I was being his friend right back. Even though it was hard destroying a Blue-Eyes to help him win against the creature who dueled in _my_ name. Because that's what friends do.

I was never more proud of Yugi than when he bested the pharaoh in that destined duel. Once again, he showed -- everyone -- those fools he calls friends, the Egyptians, the pharaoh -- and me -- what a true friend is. A true friend doesn't flinch from hard realities. A true friend doesn't mollycoddle others. A true friend forces you to face what you don't want to face. A true friend stands beside you, or in front of you, as was the case in that duel, to help you. And a true friend helps you triumph over those harsh realities -- no matter the cost to himself.

I'll beat him someday. When I do, I won't gloat. I won't boast. It will be a hard-won victory because he pushed me to be the best. On that day, when I am in that moment of triumph over my rival, I'll walk over to him. I'll offer my hand. Isn't it funny I know him well enough to know how it will go? He'll take it. He'll congratulate me. He'll mean every word, in his defeat -- in my victory -- finding the victory he wanted more than beating me in a game. On that day, when I offer my hand, he'll know I want to be his friend, too.

On that day, though I will have won a duel from him, we will both be winners. That damned optimistic, cockeyed heart of his will make it so. He'll understand.

I won't have to say a single word.

That is the utmost irony.

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Author's notes -

::sigh:: I need a Kaiba-ectomy. I don't like Seto. Apparently, he doesn't care. Why can't he go bother some of his fan-girls to write this stuff for him and leave me alone? I'd much rather be 'haunted' by Mahaad!

Reviews, comments and constructive criticisms are always welcome! Please feel free to email me also if you see something awkward that needs to be clarified or fixed. I need all the help I can get.


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